Welcome to the second post from The Incredible Blog! Now, I’m sure that you’ve been satisfied to the nth degree reading my first blog posts, with comments from you ranging from “wow that was a phenomenal experience” (followed up by “that’s what she said”), to “this is beyond applicable to my life right now!” For those of you who have already been quenched intellectually by this previous blog’s post, fret no more – feel free to close your computer, grab a virgin daiquiri, and prepare returning to your mediocre job. But, for those who crave more and more information – the learned, sophisticated person sitting in your seat right now – one would either need a dark beer or to read more of this! You’ve read this far already! Commit to it!
My first blog post will be about none other than alcohol! Why bring up this topic, you may ask? This social lubricant, this vice to Irish tradition
and ambition, and the reason why Facebook hosts an exuberent amount of pictures on its server is one of the most largely regarded institutions in America. Let’s face it, I could be completely smashed right now. I’ve seen me do it before.
This blog is about alcohol. And not empowering people to drink. Nay nay, this is a post to glorify those people who don’t drink alcohol. Those people who go to parties and love life sober, the people who regard drinking as a thing they don’t really need, the individuals who have seen what has happened and happily reject a brewski. Don’t get me wrong, no one likes a hypocrite; I assure you, I’ve had many a brewski (with some broskies) and loved life under the wonderful spell thanks to Charlie Mopps. But there are days like tonight where I say (to myself, with affection) “Hey, why not keep it low key?” It’s moments like these when I realize that those people who abstain from alcohol are not anti-social; they have self control. They’re able to life life and enjoy it without any social lubricant at all. They have full confidence in themselves to reject the 12-ounce can, and to stay away from the water bottle containing oftly-thick water.
Okay, okay, you’re going to need to calm down! I know exactly what you’re thinking: “But Marc Anthony, those people throw down this opportunity with glee and a skip with accomplishment and, often, disdain!” Yes, there are those gifted enough to be passionate about their sense of self-righteousness. For those, I bite my thumb at you. For the rest, who simply understand the pros and cons and go the path less followed, I salute you.
For those who don’t actually enjoy the taste of brew or an acetone aftertaste, it’s 1000% percent up to you to choose. In the words of angry moms around the world, follow the new slogan “Be the wall” (www.bethewall.org). For those who enjoy the taste of brew, follow my footsteps and thank the sober ones for showing us how to drunkenly navigate around walls.
